Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
