My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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