That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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