I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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