I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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