I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
