You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
