Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
