Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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