see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
