my vag is so smooth its legendary
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
