U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
