I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
