i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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