She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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