so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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