i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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