would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
