Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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