I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
