I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He felt like a one man threesome
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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