i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
