Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
