But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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