He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
