called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
