I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
