Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
