My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
