Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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