Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Is it penis luge time yet?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
