grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
