I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
