I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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