Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
