a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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