He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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