Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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