Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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