JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
