wanna go halves on a baby?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize