you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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