Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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