So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's shark week go big or go home
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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