I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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