Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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