He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
