I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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