i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
