Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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