I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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