i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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