On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize