There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
