OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
