She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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