You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
