hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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