How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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